There’s no easy way to say hello, let’s dive right in

Do you remember the night like I do, blue

from cold or sky – your curtains were shut
weren’t they? In the morning you put on Ben Folds Five

and I got myself dressed and ready
shyly listening to Give me my money back, you bitch
and then when we got out your car and you took
my hand, that song was still running through me
It was blue because it was cold
but our bodies were light, like dust
and moved together and apart
like dust does, hanging
for one whole moment in the air
before disappearing, so I remember the heat of
your body and my body and I remember the dust in the air
as if we had slept through til afternoon
and let ourselves loose against the sunlight
I don’t know how to open. I don’t know how
you managed to open me so delicately that I didn’t notice
you and I blossoming into something bigger
than its parts, an us where one or the other nudged and
offered and sighed and moved in, but
here is the space for that night –
here it is in my heart blood bones mind tongue crook of arm you think
that time gets past these things
but the words to that song keep bringing me
back to it, even though you aren’t there any more
and I wonder, where have you gone?
Now there is that night,
your body and my body,
all of the aching and the new need to discover
and all of the old heartache and the old pain of remembering
everything we started that night and everything we lost

About Kendal

I'm Kendal Mosley-Chalk. I live in York with my husband and four children.
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