What a week. Always this week, leading up to the New Moon, is full of catharsis. And then the much needed energy of renewal and beginnings that the New Moon will bring.
I’m feeling a little more focused and a little more ready. Surprisingly, or maybe not, relaxed too. Excited about the prospect of Gatsby’s arrival which could be imminent now but which I suspect will not happen just yet.
I mistook the physical signs of stress for early labour at the beginning of the week, but now I am sure Gatsby will wait just a little longer.
I did some making yesterday, after a much needed reflexology session with a lovely lady. We planted a lot of flowers in our back garden today. Ezra woke up pretty miserable (I guess it’s teething due to the large puddles of drool on his top) so being outside was the only thing that really soothed/distracted him. Our sandpit is down, stuff cleared and cleaned.
Although it was a dreary day, the kind of day that would be suited to drinking tea and listening to The Smiths, it felt good to plant and dig and smell of soil.
This is one of the things on my list – my list of Things to be Done. I have a pool liner to find and collect, bags of baby clothes to wash and sort and some more sewing to do. One more reiki session this week.
It surprises me at this time how strong a need I have to be at or near home, preparing a space. To withdraw. My Doula wrote about it here – the biological need for privacy in this time of between, and it certainly feels stronger by the day.
We can’t expect those around us to be aware of this need, although it is sad that people who should know, and care more, don’t always respect this. It is up to us individually to draw the curtains and close the door and begin to prepare a space – a space to birth and a space for new life to be welcomed into.
We need to nourish what feels like home, and protect it. That means withdrawing somewhat, perhaps totally, from social media. And focusing on things close to us. Planting, and cooking. Realigning things so everyone has a new space. Ava with her new room, Howard with his new workspace. Ezra, who now has more of his own room, too, and Mama, who has a deep-cleaned bedroom, new bookshelves and perpetually clean sheets.
Little things at this time, but things to zoom in on. I think of the weeks ahead, surrounding birth, and I am so happy that it is happening at this time of year, when the garden blooms and where there always seems to be excited children making mud pies or playing in the sand. And somewhere amidst all that, this year, we welcome back our dear friends to where they belong – close to us, home.
But I’ve been here before, and I don’t mind the waiting so much this time. I know it’ll come soon enough – everything. Summer. Gatsby. Until then, planting and cooking, folding tiny baby clothes, and breathing.