Today felt like a Tuesday or Wednesday, not a Thursday.
We walked my uncle to the train station this morning and headed to the park, where Ava climbed the ruins and ran. Our library plans were scuppered by a training day, so we headed into town and got tea/hot chocolate and cake instead.
When we got home I cleaned up after last night’s incredible curry, and our friends came round and we looked after their little boy for a while.
Today Ezra bellowed with laughter as Ava flew off the couch again and again.
Ava wet herself numerous times because she was too excited to go to the bathroom.
We played in the car and Ava pretended she was driving and then she lost the keys again.
Ava painted whilst Ezra slept.
They both napped in bed.
We watched ‘The Gruffalo’s Child’ and I read through a new craft book and earmarked some projects I’d like to have a go at.
And I was thinking about that well-known passage from ‘A Return to Love’ by Marianne Williamson:
‘Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.’
And sitting in an Ethics class in North Carolina and recognising that sentiment, listening to our wise and wonderful teacher talk about our fear of succeeding and our fear of being truly happy and our fear of making others feel inadequate by whatever brilliance we each have within us and knowing then this was an issue for me – then, at 18, nearly 12 years ago.
And today I thought, I am done with that.