Breathless

I’ve been absent again, but for good reason.

This little one has been taking up most of my energy and evenings, and I have been unable to write about it, which, for the purposes of this blog here, is no good at all. So I thank you all for the lovely emails and kind words, but assure you that my absence has just been temporary. I wrote a little about what it was like to find out I’m pregnant again, here, at Crafty by Nurture.

But I am feeling better each day, a little more energy coming my way, which means I’m being a little more productive too. It’s a nice contrast to the last few weeks when I have spent most of the day on the couch, under a quilt, and most of the evening in bed, asleep.

I have made nothing! Nothing at all! It has felt strange but also necessary – I had to let go of the notion of making Ava a birthday dress, birthday trousers, a birthday book. I did make her a beanbag, but that was so quick it hardly counted. Now I’m writing lists of all the things I want to make for Yule, and hoping that soon I’ll have enough energy to do even a little making each evening.

I’m also determined that this will be the winter where I learn how to knit things other than elf hats. I think focusing on handcrafts like knitting and embroidery will be necessary when I get so big that sitting slumped over a sewing machine is impossible.

In just over a month, all things going well, we can find out the sex of this baby. I have a list for him (or, okay, it could be a her I suppose) too, but I want to be sure before I get cracking. Teeny tiny hand-knits might be the cutest thing on earth, and what baby doesn’t need some extra layers to keep them snugly?

This time of year passes so quickly, which is a shame because it is my favourite time of year. On the plus side, I hope it means that the first two thirds of this pregnancy will just zoom by and I find myself, after Christmas is over, ready and able to concentrate on preparing a space for the new little person in our family.

For now, it’s hard to concentrate on anything other than Ava. Her days seem back to normal now the sickness is over – groups and seeing friends, crafting, long walks. Which is all good, except this time around I seem to be feeling a lot more breathless and lightheaded than the first time around. Google tells me this is normal, and I suspect because my bump is larger already, my lungs are being pushed a little more sooner from below, but I do wish it would go away. I tend to be prone to lightheadedness because my blood pressure is always low, but it means, being pregnant, with all the blood rushing to my uterus, I get waves of such dizziness I have to lie down immediately.

I’m taking it easy, though. I’m not trying to push myself, because I know there isn’t any advantages to doing so. If I can spend most of my energy during the day with Ava, when she needs it, I will happily forego an evening of making or cooking or seeing friends if it means being in bed and asleep by 9. I’m sure that by the time I have two little ones, I’ll be glad of all those nights I got some proper sleep.

Even though I have big plans for Yule, I also know it’s okay if I can’t pull them all off. November is when our elving usually begins, and this year will be no different, but I expect there will be a little more rest and a little less frantic late night sewing marathons. I’ve always been happy to forego a few hours sleep in favour of doing something creative, but that’s just not an option right now. I do so need my sleep, and I suspect that being around a lovely little toddler all day long has something to do with this need for rest. I just have to remind myself that rest is productive too. Even if I can’t see it, or don’t always feel it, I am growing another person after all, and that’s a big enough project for right now.

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About Kendal

I'm Kendal Mosley-Chalk. I live in York with my husband and two children.
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2 Responses to Breathless

  1. Donna says:

    What does Ava think of having a sibling on their way? :o)

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