transitions

for the first time since we moved, two months ago,

I missed York yesterday and woke up with a taste of it in my mouth today

I don’t know why – a series of small things colliding –

the sense of it all at once, somehow,

and the longing again to be bound by community

-a library I can go to everyday with Ava, friends who live on every street you pass

on the way to town, play dates, toddler groups, coffee shops

 

today I went swimming again

at one point only me in the pool

and I love to swim, or be in the water in some way

(once the owner of the astrology shop in Covent Gardens told me to be in the water

as much as possible. he said good things would happen in the water

and I laughed and thought it a bit hokey but believed him nonetheless)

so there I am today, and after a few lengths,

I find my rhythm, forget about time, body takes over,

and I am swimming floating pushing

under the water without surfacing

but today I was bound by thoughts that wouldn’t go away

nothing to do but swim with them

tire myself out, breathe deeper and longer

come home and hug the Little and go about the day as usual

 

things are different here, in this in between time

and I know the power that being in between can bring

the middle ground

the turning point

but I can feel myself reaching out for one side or another

a before or an after

something to steady myself

until I have solid ground beneath my feet again to call my own.

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About Kendal

I'm Kendal Mosley-Chalk. I live in York with my husband and two children.
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