I dream of Tori Amos

on nights when I don’t sleep well, which have been these last two –

a small consolation is the view of the moon, tracking across the sky, from our window

and then when I doze off, I have dreams of her, always as if I am seeing her in concert

in a room full of people (mostly women, of course) and she is playing

Famous Blue Raincoat, (oh just my favourite of all Cohen songs) and I am

completely unable not to cry but trying so hard, so not a person (in dreams or otherwise)

who can cry in front of others easily

but it doesn’t seem to matter here

there is blue light everywhere

and I feel held by the music, and entranced –

either I can’t look anywhere else or I choose not to

it doesn’t seem to matter

and that’s most of it, not anything so special in itself,

except it comes from a memory that is so dear to me

one of those very sacred moments in life where things felt connected,

where I left a little of myself, to visit when I need to

and when I wake up, I have it in my head, except it’s Leonard Cohen

singing in that inimitable drole husk

Yes, and thanks, for the trouble you took from her eyes

I thought it was there for good so I never tried.’

About Kendal

I'm Kendal Mosley-Chalk. I live in York with my husband and two children.
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