Was one of those days. The very ones that people mean when they roll their eyes and heave their shoulders.
I won’t bore you with the details, but by 4 I still had not eaten or drunk anything all day (all day!) and felt that surely it must actually be 10 in the morning.
But when a day like yesterday comes along, it seems like the very best time to test that mindfulness I’m so fond of reading and talking about, and by 4.30, when I was finally sipping a cup of tea (tea makes everything good, no?) in the library, eating a cheese toasty and watching Ava happily run around the shelves, I considered that amongst the very annoying, very irritating series of events, and breakages, and losing things, there had also been some lovely moments.
Like Ava crawling onto my lap, resting her head, and falling asleep. Without being fed, or rocked, or sung to. Just fell asleep, on her own! Amazing!
And watching her later run up to several different toddlers in the library, patting them on their arms, offering them books, generally just being her wonderful, joyful little self.
Then later still, at home, cooking dinner with a carefully selected soundtrack of songs from a mixed CD, drinking strawberry wine, and watching in amazement as Ava went crazy for Metallica, the day seemed finally back on track.
And I was reminded that amongst the many, daily little things there are to be grateful for, there are also bigger things. I happen to be very thankful for all the people I’ve known who have shared their music with me, introducing me to things that I now love, and listen to often.
I don’t know much about music, but the music I know is important to me. On days when things are off, and I feel far away and undone, it brings me back to myself and I feel fastened again.
“No reason to get excited,”
The thief, he kindly spoke
“There are many here among us
Who feel that life is but a joke
But you and I, we’ve been through that
And this is not our fate
So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late”