and even though things can be hard, or boring, or frustrating, or challenging, there is also this:
Ava pointing at everything, saying Mama over and over, babbling conversations that we don’t understand yet, even though she has the most expressive little face in the world
lovely emails from friends, and those moments, rare usually, of complete connection
autumn, autumn, autumn (the trees will tell you)
walking down the road with my skirt tucked proudly in my knickers, as I ruminate the wonderful words on mindfulness I read that morning. ahem.
very fun and silly photoshoots in the museum gardens with little A. more on that shortly.
watching Ava fearlessly tackle things, loving her strength, her exuberance, her bravery, her sense of herself, her ability to say ‘no’
planning for two important birthdays, all the things to think about, to make.
wondering if i should attempt to blog everyday, if we should get rid of the TV, if i should and could stop wearing make up, or if i don’t, how i will explain it to Ava, how and when and where i could get more into photography, when and when and how we might move to America, whether i should re-read The Beauty of the Husband today, why i dreamt of my old house and that same old friend, again, and all the other words from all the other people who say it right, say it better.
yesterday, Cat Power. ‘Lower me down, pin me in, secure the grounds for the later parade’
these are the days of the later parade, the perfect time to be almost young, the days of stopping once in a while to appreciate late summer (on an old, overgrown railroad track if there’s one available), the sudden beauty of these last sunny days – the tightening, of breaths, sheets, cardigans and the long exhale in the evening, by the fire that soon, will always lit.