August is always a month that moves quickly. It arrives quickly, and passes quickly. It is full of people, events, travel. I never get a feel for August, it comes and goes too suddenly, and then there is September (sweet September) and the arrival of Autumn for a brief moment.
But I am trying to savour things as they are, without looking too much into the future. Not an easy thing, I tell you, when there is a little one growing oh so quickly, whose first birthday is fast approaching and who simply refuses to stay a baby (I have asked her nicely)
And also, all the thoughts of where we want to be, what we might do, where we might go next. In every way, this is such a transitional time, the very beginning of our family life together, and the decisions we make now we make for our family as is, and for our family as it might be.
But all that can get quite, well, heavy sometimes. There are a lot of thoughts floating about my little head these days, and the limits of this blog restricts me from talking about all of them. But I have a very deep and very important need to feel free, to feel young and to feel able. Perhaps because these are things I never want Ava to lose, and certainly because Ava is such a constant reminder of the things I actually feel are important in life. I say actually, because only in the last few months have I started to differentiate my things from other people’s. My stuff from their stuff.
It’s not an easy process, for many reasons. But it’s easier in many ways now that there is someone else who requires me to clarify my thoughts and feelings about, well, everything really. It is always a surprise to me to learn that I am not the people I am surrounded by and that I am not the things I have inherited.
This August, I am going to do my best to keep things simple, to not sweat the small stuff, and above all else, to let things go.