Two mornings ago, when my Amazon delivery brought me a new book on mindful parenting (Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting) I flipped to the chapter on The Family Bed, since I have been thinking (again) about it lately. And what a wonderfully written, beautiful chapter, that reminded me of something very important. That beyond the debates, the research, the books, the oh-so-many different opinions on the subject…is the fact that I really and truly just love it. I love our family bed.
And although I could have never imagined it would become one of the cornerstones, and symbols, of our way of parenting, it really has. Right alongside my absolute love of breastfeeding my sweet little girl, is my complete and utter love of what has become our family bed (and right now, that’s a big kingsize bed on a lovely steel frame, with a purpose-made safety board to stop Ms Ava going anywhere in the middle of the night)
But we have plans. Oh do we have plans. The future of our bed might be radically different from what it is now, with two huge mattresses together on a custom made wooden frame very low down on our floor, to accomodate Ava and her brother(s) and sister(s). And then I imagine we will really have a bedroom, one room that is mainly bed, for all the Mosley-Chalks to sleep in, strewn across one another, cuddled up in collective dreamy slumber.
And of course, bedrooms for the little ones when they are ready to migrate, but until then, they will all be welcomed into this lovely haven every single night. Because, choosing to sleep-share, bed-share, room-in, or whatever you want to call it, has been without a doubt one of the best decisions I have ever made in my entire life, and, as a good friend half-confided in me the other day, ‘it just feels so right’.
Falling asleep cuddled up next to Ava every night, I have never felt such a complete connection to another person, and I am so glad we chose to follow our instincts (backed up, of course, by a lot of reading, research and thoughts on the matter) and embrace the idea of a big, messy, snuggly family bed.